"'And so you are going abroad; and when do you return?
But that's a useless question.
You hardly know when you are coming back,
You will find so much to learn.'"
-T.S. Eliot, Portrait of a Lady
I conveniently read that Eliot's Portrat of a Lady for the first time the other day, sitting on a bench on the University side of the quad while the Rock bells rang to signal the end of Opening Convocation and the beginning of the procession of the first years. Every year that moment seems like a definitive beginning...it's a start. It's the opening of the year, when everything is fresh and new. The first years look so confused and exhausted and excited. It was fortuitous that I was reading Eliot during that beginning, thinking about my own start during O-week two years ago, and my current beginning, happening right now. Going to Rome almost feels like going away to college for the first time. Just like I was two years ago, I'm expecting a lot of the upcoming months; I feel like it is a real step further into adulthood. This year truly feels that way, like the start of being a Real Person with Real Responsibilities. (How on earth did I end up having rent and gas payments?! I still refuse to believe that I am old enough to be entrusted with those kinds of responsibilities. Goodness.) As Eliot says, I will, "find so much to learn", not just about Roman history and pasta, but about myself. I want to use this quarter abroad as an opportunity to test myself, to shed the remnants of my sheltered suburban-ness that UChicago has not yet stamped out. That sounds corny: I want to Find Myself. It's such a cliche. But it is true, in a way. All of Europe feels like it's just right there, and all I have to do is leap. Or fly, I suppose. So here's hoping that I don't chicken out of doing anything I want to, that the food is good, that the people are better, and that my suitcase is within its allotted 50 pound limit. Arrivederci!
No comments:
Post a Comment